What Do You Say?

Butters loves going to the store, even though he is too young to buy wine

What do you say when you have strangers who come up to you to ask about your child's cochlear implants or hearing aids?   It just occurred to me the other day while Butters and I were at the store, that the people we run into are kind of split equally into two parties:  those who are very familiar with the whole topic of hearing loss, and those who are completely clueless. 

I generally try to be patient with the clueless set simply due to the fact that before I had Butters, I had no idea what cochlear implants were, much less what LVAS and Mondini's Syndrome were either.   So I guess that's why I'm a little surprised when people see Butters and his "super ear" they immediately go, "Oh! He has an implant."   And then they proceed to tell me how one of their loved ones or someone they know has one as well.  I will say that   people often remark how they had no idea that babies or kids could get them.  Yeah, tell me about it.  My jaw dropped to the floor last year when we were told that my then three month old would have to wear hearing aids.  I kept thinking about the hearing aid that my dad wears and was horrified thinking about putting something like that into my infant's ear.   I had no clue back then that hearing aids were custom made for babies.  Imagine that!

But back to the subject of informing the public.  How do you handle the situation of explaining to strangers that your child cannot hear without the help of implants or aids?  Does it bother you?  Does it bring up all of those negative feelings about your child's hearing loss that you first had when you found out about it?  Does it make you feel more like an advocate and educator when people ask you about your child's hearing loss?

I can always see the humorous side when people ask or make a comment regarding Butters' implant, but I will admit that it usually brings back that pang of sadness and anxiety that erupted inside my brain and in my heart when I first found out.  I guess it always will.

And sometimes, I don't even bring up the issue.  Like the other day, when our UPS guy delivered (another) Amazon package.  He knows we have a toddler but has never met Butters.  I opened the door to speak to him since he is our main neighborhood delivery guy, and he told me that he didn't mean to ring the doorbell since we have a little one.  I told him it was okay, not to worry about it since Butters can sleep through anything.  I figured that the UPS guy didn't need to know and besides, he probably already thinks that I am a hoarder and compulsive shopper anyway with all of the Amazon packages that have been coming in lately.  They have been having some really great deals lately.

Then there are those times when I feel compelled to explain Butters' hearing loss.  I can't really explain this urge, but perhaps it's more of a need to quickly intercept people's impending questions of, "So, what's that thing on his head?"   

Either way, it's never easy.  Sure, it's much easier now to explain Butters' hearing loss and his implant than it was last year when we first found out.  But each time someone asks, each time someone talks about Butters or talks to Butters, each time someone sees Butters and me out for our walks, it forces you to acknowledge the loss.   But it's the gain that I try to focus on when I talk to people and when I work with Butters and his language skills.  And it's the gain I think about the most when I have those "down" moments.