It sure as heck in a hole in the ground would make life a lot easier. Just sayin'.
Butters got a pretty good report today when we met with our ENT/surgeon. He said right off the bat that the implant had shifted in the days right after surgery. This can happen a lot with the little ones since their skulls are not real "static" if you will, meaning, babies' skulls are still growing and are not set like adults' skulls are. I have a strong feeling that the implant probably moved overnight since he was given a very flimsy bandage that slipped off while Butters was sleeping. I guess we should have taken him back to the hospital the next day, but things seemed fine with the implant and it had been a while since the surgery, and you know, the whole 20/20 hindsight thing too.
We have two choices: We can go ahead and have revision surgery in an effort to try to avoid any sore or infection occurring. Our ENT said that his scar was healing nicely, and that the area where the skin touches the implant does not look irritated (moleskin has been helping a lot with buffering the area between the implant and the skin). He also warned that revision surgery could potentially damage the implant and it might not be a simple surgery due to his cochlear malformation, i.e the whole electrode array might have to be reinserted, etc. Our other choice is to leave things the way that they are and just monitor the site. If the area begins to look questionable, then we contact our ENT immediately, stop processor usage and then revision surgery would be necessary. Another point that our ENT brought up was that in a handful of years or so, Butters will probably have to have the implant removed in order to receive a more advanced implant, especially with the way the technology is going. That's both terrifying and potentially exhilarating to think about.
What are we going to do? I'm not sure. I really don't want to jump right into another surgery if we can help it, mostly for the sake of Butters. Simple procedure or not, I don't take these things lightly at all. What I do know is that the implant works and that's what our ENT was the most concerned with and he felt a lot better once I explained how it has been working for Butters. His activation last week showed that the electrodes were in order and stuff. That could change, I guess but so could a lot of other things.
What I have had to come to terms with in the last week since finding out all of this stuff is that infection and sores can develop anytime with these devices no matter how hard you try to avoid any bad stuff from happening. Accidents can happen causing the devices to move or fail. Electrodes could choose to shut off randomly at any given moment. Any of us with normal hearing could suddenly lose it for various reasons or for no reason at all.
We could choose to have Butters' revision surgery tomorrow and it still won't guarantee that everything will be perfect. There are no clear cut answers. No black and white. Just gray. Can we justify putting our child through yet another surgery in a preemptive effort to try and stop any potential negative effects from happening?
I know that this is one of those touchy topics for a lot of people, not just for us parents of children who have cochlear implants, but what I'm trying to get at here is that no matter how hard we try to draw out a complete map of how we wish for our lives to play out, we cannot predict the future and we are only capable of making the best decisions that we can in the time that we have. Any decision that we make can both positively and negatively impact our lives in so many different ways. What's even more nerve jarring is that we are having to make the best possible choices for our kids. Daunting? Yes. Terrifying? You bet your pants off it is. And I have a strange feeling that it never gets any easier.
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